Social media has made it incredibly easy to find spiritual practitioners. Within minutes, you can find tarot readers, psychics, witches, healers, teachers, mentors, spellworkers, and people offering all kinds of spiritual services. I actually think that can be a wonderful thing. There are genuinely talented, knowledgeable, and ethical people sharing their work online, and I have learned from some of them myself. At the same time, social media has made it very easy for someone to present themselves as experienced, established, or authoritative before you really know much about the person behind the account.
A large following does not automatically mean someone is trustworthy or ethical. Someone can have thousands of followers and not necessarily have the experience you might assume they have. Meanwhile, someone with a much smaller following may have spent decades studying, practicing, learning from others, making mistakes, and developing their craft. A polished social media presence, impressive titles, and confident language can create an image of authority, but none of those things tell you how someone actually behaves when things do not go their way.
That is where discernment becomes important.
Look Beyond the Following
Before spending your money or putting your trust in a spiritual practitioner, I think it is worth doing some research. How long have they actually been practicing? Who taught them? If they claim a particular lineage or certification, can it be verified? What kind of training have they completed? Do they have clear policies about their services, refunds, communication, and turnaround times? What do people say about their experiences with them?
I also pay attention to how someone responds when things are not going perfectly. How do they handle an unhappy customer? Can they admit when they made a mistake? Can someone ask a reasonable question without being treated as disrespectful? Do they encourage people to develop their own judgment, or do they create the impression that clients need them in order to be spiritually safe?
I think patterns matter too. One unhappy customer does not automatically mean someone is unethical. People misunderstand each other, businesses make mistakes, orders get lost, and sometimes a practitioner simply is not the right fit for a particular person. But when you start seeing repeated complaints about unfulfilled orders, large backlogs, public arguments with customers, shaming people who question them, intimidation, threats, or a pattern of turning every disagreement into an attack, I think it is reasonable to take a step back and look more closely.
You do not have to decide that someone is a terrible person. You simply have to decide whether you want to give that person your money, your trust, or access to vulnerable parts of your life.
My Own Experience
This became very real for me after I hired a large spiritual creator I had found through TikTok. I paid for a custom report connected to one of her live events and initially tried to be patient. After several emails went unanswered, I happened to join one of her live events and asked about the report. I was told to email her directly, so I did.
She explained that she had made a mistake with my information and would need to redo the report. I understood that mistakes happen, and I was told I should have it within a couple of days. I waited.
Two or three weeks later, I still had not received the report, so I followed up again. This time, I was told by an assistant that the report had not been completed and that there was no way to know when it would be finished.
At that point, I no longer wanted the service. I had already waited more than 50 days from the original purchase, had been given a delivery expectation that was not met, and was now being told there was no estimated timeline at all. I formally canceled the order and requested a refund.
That is when everything changed.
Instead of simply processing the refund, I was accused of being aggressive and threatening and was told that a cease and desist would be issued if I continued contacting the business. I was stunned because, from my perspective, I had been trying to resolve a straightforward customer service issue. I had asked where my paid-for service was, was told there was no timeline for receiving it, and then asked for my money back.
I never threatened her, threatened to harm her, or attempted to intimidate her.
When the promised refund still did not arrive, I eventually had to involve my bank and file complaints with the Attorney General and the Federal Trade Commission. I did not do that because I wanted to create drama or punish anyone. I did it because I had already tried to resolve the situation directly, formally canceled the order, been promised a refund, and still had not received my money. I also knew that waiting too long could potentially affect my ability to dispute the charge through my bank.
Ultimately, I did receive my money back, but only after I took those additional steps.
After the refund was finally issued, I also received a response from the practitioner regarding the complaint I had filed. Reading her version of what happened was honestly frustrating because several parts did not match my records or my experience. She described my communications as hostile and harassing and said the cease and desist language was related to disruptive behavior and contact with her volunteers. That was not how the situation happened from my perspective, and I had the email chain documenting my attempts to resolve the issue.
What made this even more frustrating was that she later contacted me and acknowledged that those accusations were unfounded and based on incorrect information. She told me that she was including that retraction in her response to the Attorney General, so when I received her response and it was not there, I responded with the documentation and pointed out the contradiction.
Instead, she then told the Attorney General that she felt scared for her life and claimed that I was using the Attorney General as a way to communicate with her through a third party. That was not what I was doing. I was responding to the complaint because I had been given the opportunity to respond, and I was providing documentation to correct statements about my conduct that I believed were inaccurate.
At that point, the situation felt very different from the original problem I had started with. I had paid for a service, waited more than 50 days, asked for a refund when I was told there was no timeline, and then found myself being accused of increasingly serious things while trying to resolve the original issue. I had to step back and ask myself what exactly I was looking at.
People can remember events differently, misunderstand something, or make an accusation when they are upset. What matters to me is what happens when you realize you were wrong. If you make a serious accusation about someone's behavior and later acknowledge that the accusation was based on incorrect information, I think the ethical thing to do is correct the record.
The experience also made me wonder whether I was an isolated case or whether other people had experienced similar problems. After everything happened, I started looking more closely. I searched Google, looked through reviews, and found a handful of other complaints and discussions, including one on TikTok. Considering the size of the practitioner's following, I was surprised by how little public information I found.
I also came across several videos in which the practitioner talked about hexing or using witchcraft against people who disputed charges or otherwise challenged her. One of those videos was posted after my own situation had already happened. I am not going to speculate about whether she actually intended to do anything to anyone, because I cannot know that. What stood out to me was hearing a spiritual practitioner talk about using magical retaliation against people involved in a consumer dispute.
That gave me pause.
I do not expect every spiritual practitioner to think exactly as I do, and I am certainly not going to tell someone what they can or cannot believe about magic. But I do think it is reasonable to pay attention to how someone responds when they are angry, challenged, criticized, or involved in a disagreement with a customer.
If someone is publicly talking about hexing people because they disputed a charge, that is information I would want to know before deciding whether I felt comfortable giving that person my money, my personal information, or access to something as personal as my spiritual life.
None of this proves that every complaint or allegation I came across is true. People have different experiences, many customers never leave reviews, and not every dispute becomes public. I just think it is worth paying attention when things do not add up or when multiple pieces of information begin to form a pattern.
Later, two former volunteers publicly shared their own experiences working with this practitioner. They made allegations involving undelivered orders and unpaid work, including one person who claimed they were owed approximately $10,000.
I want to be careful here because discernment applies to this part too. Those were their experiences and their allegations, and I cannot personally verify every detail of what they shared. I am not going to present their claims as things I personally witnessed or know to be true.
What I can say is that hearing their stories made me look back at my own experience differently. When you have already experienced contradictions firsthand and then hear similar concerns from people who had their own direct relationship with the person, it is difficult not to take notice.
That does not mean I automatically believe every allegation someone makes. It means I pay attention when things do not add up. I look at what people say, what they actually do, and whether those two things match.
That, to me, is discernment.
Spiritual Does Not Mean Above Accountability
There is sometimes an unfortunate idea within spiritual communities that people who have been practicing for a long time, have a title, have a large following, or are considered teachers should somehow be trusted automatically. I do not believe that. Experience matters. Training matters. Knowledge matters. Lineage can matter. None of those things make someone incapable of being wrong, dishonest, manipulative, or simply human.
Someone can be spiritually gifted and still behave badly. Someone can teach valuable things and still have terrible boundaries. Someone can have decades of experience and still make mistakes. Being a spiritual practitioner does not place someone above accountability.
This matters even more because people often seek spiritual services when they are vulnerable. They may be grieving, frightened, confused, going through a major life change, or desperately looking for answers. That creates a responsibility for anyone working with them.
There is nothing wrong with charging money for spiritual work. Practitioners put time, energy, study, preparation, materials, and labor into what they do, and they deserve to be compensated. The problem is exploitation.
If someone tells you that you are cursed and then conveniently offers to remove that curse for several hundred dollars, that deserves scrutiny. If someone constantly creates fear around your spiritual life and then happens to have the paid solution to that fear, pay attention. If you are made to feel like something terrible will happen unless you keep paying for more work, I do not think you should ignore that simply because the person uses spiritual language.
Ethical guidance should support a person's ability to make their own decisions rather than slowly replacing it.
Clients Have Boundaries Too
Practitioners are allowed to have boundaries. They can refuse a client, establish policies, limit communication, and decide that someone is not a good fit for their practice. Clients should respect those boundaries.
But clients have boundaries too.
You are allowed to ask questions about what you are purchasing. You are allowed to disagree with a reading or interpretation. You are allowed to seek another opinion. You are allowed to stop working with someone because their approach no longer feels right for you. You are allowed to ask about a refund when you are entitled to one, and you are allowed to use appropriate consumer channels when a problem cannot be resolved directly.
You do not owe someone lifelong loyalty because they taught you something. You do not owe unquestioning devotion because they have a spiritual title. You do not owe silence simply because someone has a larger following than you do.
At the same time, clients have responsibilities too. Do not harass practitioners, ignore clearly stated policies, make threats, or expect unlimited access to someone's time simply because you paid for a service. Ethical practice goes both ways.
You Do Not Have to Fight Anyone
One of the biggest things I have taken from this experience is that discernment does not require a public battle. You do not have to convince everyone that someone is unethical, and you do not have to spend months arguing with a person online.
Sometimes discernment is simply recognizing that something does not sit right with you and choosing to step away.
You can research more. You can ask questions. You can look for patterns. You can seek another teacher or practitioner. You can decide not to spend your money somewhere. You can leave a community. You can change your mind.
Sometimes we become attached to people we learn from, especially when they have taught us something meaningful. We want to believe the best about them because we value what they have given us. But appreciating something you learned from someone does not require you to ignore behavior that concerns you.
You can be grateful for what you learned and still decide that you no longer want that person involved in your spiritual life.
You can also realize that you were wrong about someone.
There is nothing shameful about that.
Trust Your Judgment
There are so many wonderful spiritual practitioners out there. There are people doing beautiful, ethical, meaningful work who genuinely care about the people they serve. There are teachers who understand that having experience does not make them superior, practitioners who respect their clients' autonomy, and spiritual workers who can admit when they do not know something.
Those are the people I want to support.
But spirituality should never require you to turn off your common sense. Research the people you work with. Ask questions. Know what you are paying for. Read the policies. Pay attention to how someone treats people when everything is going well, but especially when something goes wrong.
Look beyond the follower count and the title. Look at behavior, patterns, accountability, and how someone treats people who question or disagree with them.
Most importantly, remember that your spiritual path is still yours. No practitioner, teacher, reader, healer, mentor, or spiritual authority gets to make your judgment for you.
You can respect someone's experience without shutting off your own intuition. You can learn from someone without handing over your ability to think for yourself. You can appreciate what someone has taught you and still decide that they are no longer someone you want in your spiritual life.
You are allowed to think for yourself.
And honestly, I think that is one of the most important parts of walking a spiritual path in the first place.